I’m pretty good at remembering details about people, where they work, what they wore when we last met, the holiday they mentioned in passing. But when you’re meeting dozens of people at events, coffees, and brunches, even if you have the best memory you are bound to at some point forget an important detail.
Even with the best of intentions I have definitely had that awkward moment when someone asks “How’s your mum doing?” and I can’t remember their parents names to ask the question in return.
Then my husband heard something on a podcast that completely changed how I manage my personal and professional relationships, I implemented it immediatly and have been consistently using it to remember details, be more present in conversations and follow up thoughtfully.
The system is so simple it almost feels obvious, but I promise you, it really does work.
The System: Post-Meeting Notes
As soon as you leave a meeting, coffee date, or lunch with a friend, pull out your phone, open a new note in your notes app, and write down everything you can remember from the conversation.
And I don’t mean the agenda notes or agreed tasks, this is about the personal details you learned during your conversation.
Where they’re going on holiday. That they’re buying a new property. Their child’s upcoming change of schools. The project they’re worried about at work. The book they recommended. Include all of this.
I have a folder in my Notes app called “Relationship Management,” and within it, I have individual notes for everyone I meet regularly. You could take this further and create subfolders for friends, family, and networking or work relationships, but just a simple folder with a note for each person is enough.
How I Structure Each Note
Each person has their own note with their name at the top, followed by core details about their life, work, and family.
Here’s exactly what I track:
Life:
- Where they live:
- Hobbies and passions:
- Things they’re working on outside of work:
Work:
- Current role and job title:
- Company:
- Any previous roles or companies:
Family:
Partner, Husband, Wife
- Name:
- Age:
- Their work:
- Any other important information:
Children / Grandchildren
- Names:
- Ages: (include the date you entered their ages so you can update this)
- Schools:
- Any other important information:
Parents and Siblings
- Names:
- Any other information:
Anything else important
- Pet names: people really like their pets!
All of that information stays at the top of the note. Then, beneath it, I log every single meeting we have and the details I learned during it.
After Every Meeting
Each time we meet, I add a new entry that includes:
Meeting Date and Location
Details from our conversation: Everything I can recall. Where they’re heading on holiday, updates on work projects, family news, books or restaurants they mentioned, challenges they’re facing, wins they’re celebrating.
Any agreed follow-ups: Did I promise to send them an article? Connect them with someone? Check in about something specific? I write it down so I actually do it.
The next time I see them, I add the new meeting above the previous one, so the most recent information is always at the top and easy to find.
If I learn something new that updates the core information at the top (like they’ve moved into a new role, they have taken up a new hobby, or I finally learn their partner’s name), I update that section immediately.
Why This Works
The next time I see them (which could be weeks or more likely months later), I quickly scan through my notes before we meet. It takes two minutes, and helps me to remember everything that might have slipped my mind.
Then, when I see them, I can naturally ask: “How was that trip to Portugal? You mentioned you were staying in the Algarve last time we spoke.”
Or: “Did your son settle in well at his new school?”
Or: “Have you had that conversation with your manager yet about the micromanaging?”
This shows them you were actually listening and that you cared enough to remember, and importantly that the person and what they have shared with you matters.
I’ve always been fairly good at remembering these details naturally, but when you’re building a network and meeting so many brilliant people, it becomes impossible to keep it all in your head. This method helps you build genuinely deeper relationships with your friends, family and broader network.
The Side Benefit I Didn’t Expect
Once I began using this approach there was an unexpected side benefit. Because I know I’m going to write my notes after the meeting, I’m become more present during the conversation. I listen more carefully and I ask deeper questions to get more information. And then I repeat key details back in my head to lock them in.
If someone mentions their children’s names, I’ll say them a few times silently and create a word association so I remember them. If they mention a project they’re working on, I’m already thinking about follow-up questions I can ask.
I genuinely love this method because it helps me during the conversation itself. Instead of thinking about what I’m going to say next or waiting for my turn to talk about myself, I’m focused on engaging with them and getting them to share more.
Balancing Your Conversations
We’ve all been in that situation where you meet up with a friend and they don’t ask you a single question about yourself. Not one.
Earlier this year met up with a “good friend”. In the time since we last met up I’d sold my business and moved from America back to London (two absolutely massive life events) and she didn’t ask me about either.
The entire lunch was about her updates or me asking questions about her. When people don’t show interest like this, it makes you feel less important to them and makes you question why you’re friends, or why you’re even at this meeting.
Conversations should be give and take and they should feel balanced and by using this simple note-taking method, it consistently reminds me to make the conversation about both of us. It keeps me from letting it become one-sided, either dominated by me or by them. Because I’m thinking about what I’ll write afterwards, I naturally stay more engaged with the other person, asking better questions and listening more carefully.
Sometimes This Method May Not Work
This note taking method works really well one to one or in a small group when you can concentrate on the answers, rememver them and then write them up on the way home.
But it can be less effective in a larger event setting where you might not have the time to dig deeper with each person or be able to remember everything about all the people you met by the time you left the event.
For larger settings, I focus on making sure I note down who I met and make a connection via LinkedIn or get their email. Then when I get home I use a networking tracker spreadsheet to record their name, where and when I met them, contact details, agreed follow-up and any notes I can recall. My pro-tip is to screenshot the LinkedIn profiles of the people you meet throughout the evening and then use those the next day when you are populating your tracker.
Your Action Plan: Getting Started Today
This little relationship hack is so simple, and is the easiest way to make your networking efforts more effective.
1. Create your system
- Open your Notes app (or whatever you use)
- Create a folder called “Relationship Management”
- Set up your first few notes for people you see regularly
- Add information for those people that you already know, the easiest ones to start with are your friends
2. After your next meeting or coffee
- Immediately open your note for that person (I do this on the tube home)
- Write down everything you remember
- Log any follow-ups you promised
3. Before you meet them again
- Review your notes for 2 minutes
- Refresh your memory on key details
- Check if there are any follow-ups you still need to action
4. During the conversation
- Stay present and genuinely listen
- Ask follow-up questions
- Notice what they care about
5. Repeat
- Make this a habit after every meeting, coffee, or event
- You’ll be amazed how quickly it becomes second nature
The Template You Can Copy
Here’s the exact template I use for every person in my notes:
[NAME]
General:
* Where they live:
* Hobbies and passions:
* Things they're working on outside of work:
Work:
* Current role and job title:
* Company:
* Any previous roles or companies:
Family:
Partner/Husband/Wife
* Name:
* Age:
* Their work:
* Any other important information:
Children
* Names:
* Ages: (include the date you entered their ages so you can update this)
* Schools:
* Any other important information:
Parents and Siblings
* Names
* Any other information
---
Meeting Date and Location
Details from our conversation:
Any agreed follow-ups:
---
Meeting Date and Location
Details from our conversation:
Any agreed follow-ups:
Why This Matters
When you are networking you are actually building relationships and when you remember the details people share with you, you stand out and become someone people want to stay connected with.
This system has made me a better friend, I now remember that one of my friends loves to snowboard, but her partner skis, they take separate winter trips, her sister has two children, their cat is called Miss Tash and they go to the lakes in Canada for three weeks every year (hi Rachel!).
If you’re serious about building meaningful personal and professional relationships, this is the simplest, most effective thing you can start doing today.
Want more networking strategies like this? Peer Suite members get access to our complete networking resource library, including templates, scripts, and frameworks for building authentic professional relationships. Learn more about membership here.
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