You respond to Slack messages within seconds. You answer emails at 10 p.m. You say yes to every request, even when your to-do list is overflowing. And you’re the first person people come to when they need “just a quick favour.”
Does any of this sound familiar?
Being responsive and helpful can feel good in the moment, confirming your value, reliability and that you are a team player. But over time, being too available takes a toll on you with this level of being “on” all the time leading to exhaustion, resentment, and constantly playing catch-up with your actual priorities.
Meanwhile, your colleagues and manager will come to expect your 24/7 availability and breaking that pattern feels impossible.
The challenge is that most of us were never taught how to set boundaries, especially at work. We’re told to be collaborative, flexible, and committed and stay in the office until your boss goes home (at least I was!). And this quickly translates into “always available.”
So once you have come to embody this persona at work, how do you push back without damaging your reputation or relationships?
Let’s break down exactly how to set clear, respectful boundaries that protect your time and sanity while still being a valued team member.
Why Setting Boundaries at Work Matters
Before we get into the how, let’s talk about why this matters so much.
Boundaries prevent burnout. When you’re constantly “on,” you never get a chance to properly rest and recharge. Over time, this leads to exhaustion, decreased productivity, and burnout.
Boundaries improve your work quality. When you’re stretched too thin, everything suffers. By protecting your time and focus, you can do deeper, better work on the things that actually matter.
Boundaries build respect. Ironically, being too available can make people value your time less. When you set clear boundaries, people learn to respect your schedule and come to you with more thoughtful requests.
Boundaries protect your mental health. Constantly feeling like you’re behind, overcommitted, or unable to switch off creates chronic stress and anxiety. Boundaries give you back control.
Boundaries model healthy behaviour. When you set boundaries, you give others permission to do the same. This creates a healthier team culture overall.
The Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Not sure if you need to set boundaries? Here are some telltale signs:
- You check emails or Slack before you’ve even got out of bed
- You regularly work through lunch or stay late “just to catch up”
- You feel anxious when you see your manager’s name pop up in notifications
- You take on tasks that aren’t your responsibility because you don’t want to let people down
- You feel guilty when you log off at your official finish time
- You’re exhausted by Friday (or even by Tuesday)
- You can’t remember the last time you had an uninterrupted hour of deep work
- Your partner, friends, or family have commented on how much you’re working
How to Set Boundaries at Work (Without Feeling Guilty)
Setting boundaries is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice. Here’s how to do it effectively:
1. Get Clear on What Your Boundaries Actually Are
Before you can communicate your boundaries to others, you need to know what they are. This requires some honest reflection.
Ask yourself:
- What time do I want to stop working each day?
- How do I want to spend my lunch break?
- What types of tasks am I willing to take on outside my core responsibilities?
- How quickly am I expected to respond to messages, and is that realistic?
- What do I need to feel energised and productive at work?
Write down your answers and be specific instead of general i.e. instead of “I need better work-life balance,” try “I want to log off by 6 p.m. and not check emails until 9 a.m. the next day.”
Common boundaries to consider:
- Working hours (start time, finish time, lunch breaks)
- Communication expectations (response times, after-hours availability)
- Meeting schedules (no-meeting blocks, declining unnecessary meetings)
- Workload limits (how many projects you can realistically handle)
- Personal time (protecting weekends, holidays, evenings)
The clearer you are about your boundaries, the easier they are to uphold.
2. Set Clear Priorities with Your Manager
One of the biggest reasons people struggle with boundaries is that they’re drowning in work or unclear priorities. The solution to this is to get clear on what actually matters most to your manager and the business.
Here’s how to discuss this with your manager:
Try saying:
- “I want to make sure I’m focusing my time on the work that’s most valuable. Can we talk about my top three priorities this quarter? I have identified these three projects and I want to ensure we are aligned”
- “With everything on my plate right now, could you help me prioritise which tasks to focus on this week? Here is a list of everything that needs to be done in my order of priority – can we review these together to make sure we are aligned and I am not missing any key priorities that you want tackled first.”
- “I want to make sure I’m delivering on what matters most to you. What should I be focusing on first?”
A key thing to remember here is that you don’t want to bring a problem to your boss with no solution. So create a list of priorities in order of importance and a list of “nice to haves” that you might delegate or push to the bottom of the list. Then present this to your boss for discussion.
This conversation serves two purposes. First, it ensures you’re aligned with your manager’s expectations and second, it gives you a framework for saying no to lower-priority requests.
When someone asks you to take on something new, you can say, “I’m currently focused on X, Y, and Z, which my manager and I agreed are the top priorities. If I take this on, something else will need to shift. Should we check with [manager] about what should take precedence?”
Pro tip: Revisit this conversation regularly. Business priorities change regularly, and keeping this dialogue open ensures you’re always working on what matters most. This is also a great way to track your accomplishments and position yourself for promotion.
3. Schedule Uninterrupted Focus Time (and Protect It)
If you’re constantly responding to messages and putting out fires, you’ll never have time for deep, meaningful work. The solution? Block time in your calendar for focused work and treat it as non-negotiable.
Here’s how to do it:
- Block at least 2-3 hours per day for deep work (mornings are often best)
- Mark these blocks as “busy” in your calendar
- Turn off Slack notifications, close your email, and put your phone on silent
- If possible, work from a different location (a quiet meeting room, home, a coffee shop)
- Let your manager know that you plan to use these time blocks for deep work and why this is beneficial to the business
- Be flexible. It won’t always be possible to keep the same block every day but if a meeting gets dropped in your calendar, reschedule the block to a later time or day
When someone tries to book a meeting during your focus time, you can say:
- “I’ve got this time blocked for a deadline. Could we meet at [alternative time]?”
- “I’m in deep work mode this morning. Can I catch up with you this afternoon?”
- “I’ve scheduled time to focus on [project]. Is this urgent, or can it wait until later today?”
Most things that feel urgent aren’t actually urgent. By protecting your focus time, you’ll get more meaningful work done in less time.
Bonus tip: If your workplace culture makes it hard to block time, try the “fake meeting” trick. Schedule a recurring meeting called “Project Work” or “Strategy Session” in your calendar. No one needs to know it’s just you, working alone.
4. Set (and Stick to) Your Working Hours
One of the fastest ways to burn out is working around the clock. If you’re answering emails at 11 p.m., people will come to expect it. Your availability trains others how to treat your time.
Here’s how to set clear working hours:
Communicate your schedule:
- Update your email signature: “My working hours are 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. If you’ve received this email outside these hours, I will respond to you the next working day.”
- Set your Slack / Teams status: “Available 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. I’ll respond to messages during working hours.”
- Tell your team directly: “I’m focusing on work-life balance, so I’ll be logging off at 6 p.m. If something urgent comes up after hours, please call me.”
Use tools to reinforce boundaries:
- Schedule emails to send during working hours (most email clients have this feature)
- Turn off work notifications on your phone after a certain time
- Set Slack / Teams to “Do Not Disturb” outside working hours
- Use an out-of-office message if you’re taking a proper break and remove work apps from your phone
- If you want others to respect your hours, respect theirs too. Don’t email at 8:45pm if you don’t want people to do that to you.
Have a shutdown ritual: At the end of your workday, create a routine that signals you’re done. This could be:
- Reviewing your to-do list and planning tomorrow
- Closing all work tabs and apps
- Writing down any lingering thoughts in a notebook
- Literally saying out loud, “I’m done for the day”
- If you work from home, take a short outdoor walk that represents your “commute” and separates work and personal time
This mental shift helps you actually disconnect, rather than feeling like work is always in the background.
If you need more ideas for structuring your day, check out 12 things successful women do before 9 a.m. to build habits that set you up for success.
5. Learn to Say No (Without Apologising)
This is the hard one – saying no feels uncomfortable, especially if you pride yourself on being helpful. But the problem is that every time you say yes to something that’s not a priority, you’re falling behind on your own priorities.
How to say no professionally:
The polite decline: “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity right now. Can we revisit this next week?”
The priority redirect: “I’m currently focused on [high-priority project]. If I take this on, I’ll need to push that back. Which should take precedence?”
The resource suggestion: “I don’t have the bandwidth for this, but have you tried asking [colleague] or checking [resource]?”
The delay: “I can’t take this on right now, but I could help with it in two weeks if that works?”
The firm boundary: “I won’t be able to take this on. I hope you can find someone who has more availability.”
Notice what’s missing? Excessive apologies and justifications for why you won’t take on the additional work. You don’t need to explain your entire schedule or apologise for having boundaries.
If saying no feels impossible, try this reframe: saying no to low-priority tasks means saying yes to high-priority work, your mental health, and your long-term career success.
6. Delegate and Share the Load
If you’re drowning in work, the solution isn’t always working harder to try and keep up. Now is the time to start thinking about delegating and sharing your workload.
When to delegate:
- The task doesn’t require your specific expertise
- Someone else could learn and grow from doing it
- You’re the bottleneck on a project
- You’re consistently working overtime to keep up
How to delegate effectively:
“I’m currently at capacity with [projects]. Could we assign parts of this to others on the team?”
“I think [colleague] would actually be great at this. Can we loop them in?”
“I’m happy to oversee this, but I’ll need support with the execution. Can we divide the tasks?”
If you’re a manager or senior team member, delegating is even more important. You can’t (and shouldn’t) do everything yourself. Part of being a good leader is developing others by giving them opportunities to step up.
And if delegation isn’t possible because you genuinely don’t have enough support? That’s a conversation you should have with your manager about workload and resourcing. Which brings us to…
7. Have the Difficult Conversation with Your Manager (If Needed)
Sometimes, the reason you can’t set boundaries isn’t you it’s an unrealistic workload, understaffing, or a manager who expects too much. If that’s the case, you need to have a direct conversation.
How to approach it:
“I want to do my best work, but I’m currently stretched across [number] projects and working [hours]. I’m concerned that the quality of my work will suffer if this continues. Can we talk about how to make this workload more sustainable?”
Come prepared with:
- A list of your current responsibilities and time commitments
- Specific examples of how the workload is impacting your work
- Potential solutions (hiring support, redistributing tasks, deprioritising certain projects)
A good manager will appreciate you bringing this up before you burn out or make mistakes due to being overstretched.
If your manager dismisses your concerns or expects you to “just work harder,” that’s valuable information about your workplace and if it’s is the right fit for you longer term.
If you’re contemplating a move, the 4×6 method can help you plan your next career step.
8. Stop Overexplaining and Over-Apologising
As women we can tend to over-justify our boundaries with lengthy explanations and apologies. You don’t need to do this.
Instead of: “I’m so sorry, I know this is probably annoying, but I actually can’t take on this project because I’m already working on three other things and I’m really stretched thin and I feel terrible about it…”
Try: “I don’t have capacity for this right now, but I can help next month if that works.”
Instead of: “Sorry to bother you, but would it be okay if maybe I didn’t attend this meeting? I know it’s probably important but I’m just so swamped…”
Try: “I’ll need to skip this meeting to focus on the [project] deadline. Please send me the notes and I’ll catch up.”
You’re not asking permission to have boundaries. You’re stating them clearly and confidently. This doesn’t make you difficult – it makes you professional and self-aware.
9. Set Email and Messaging Boundaries
If you’re constantly interrupted by emails, teams and Slack messages, you’ll never get into deep work. Here’s how to manage communication without being rude:
Batch your responses: Instead of responding instantly to every message, check email and Slack at set times (e.g., 9 a.m., 12 p.m., 4 p.m.). Let people know: “I check messages three times a day to stay focused. If something is urgent, please call me.”
Use status updates: Set your Slack status to indicate when you’re unavailable: “In focused work mode until 12 p.m.” or “In meetings this morning – will respond this afternoon.”
Turn off notifications: You don’t need a push notification every time someone sends you a message. Turn off non-urgent notifications and check manually on your schedule.
Set expectations about response times: Not everything needs an instant response. If someone expects you to reply within minutes, reset that expectation: “I typically respond within 24 hours. If something is urgent, please mark it as such or call me directly.”
10. Protect Your Breaks and Personal Time
Working through lunch, skipping breaks, and never fully disconnecting from work is going to quickly lead to burnout and often means you are not performing at your best because you never give yourself a break.
Take your full lunch break. Yes, we are all guilty of eating at our desks! But it’s better to block a break in your calendar to step away from your desk and scheduling this time with a lunch buddy can help you stick to it.
Use your holiday allowance. In the UK we are pretty good at taking our holidays, but in many countries, taking your vacation days is often frowned upon. These complete breaks are essential and are part of your contracted benefits so use them!
Don’t work when you’re sick. It’s pretty obvious, but rest is productive and pushing through sickness often leads to a slower recovery and more time off in the end.
Protect your weekends. Unless you work in a role with genuine on-call requirements, weekends should be work-free. If you’re regularly working weekends, something needs to change about your workload or time management.
What to Do When Boundaries Feel Impossible
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, setting boundaries feels impossible. Your workplace culture might not support it, your manager might push back, or you might face real consequences for not being available 24/7.
If that’s the case, here are your options:
1. Document everything. Keep a record of unreasonable requests, excessive workload, and times when boundaries were disrespected. Let’s hope this isn’t needed, but it will help protect you if things escalate.
2. Seek support. Talk to HR, a mentor, or a trusted senior colleague about how to navigate the situation.
3. Assess whether this role is sustainable. If your workplace fundamentally doesn’t respect boundaries and there’s no path to change, it might be time to consider other options. Your mental health and well-being matter more than any job.
As you think about your long-term career trajectory, remember that making career moves sometimes means recognising when it’s time to move on from a role that’s draining you.
The Key to Boundaries: Actually Sticking to Them
Here’s the most important thing to understand about boundaries: they only work if you enforce them.
If you tell people you don’t work past 6 p.m. but then respond to emails at 8 p.m., you’ve taught them that your boundary isn’t real. If you say you can’t take on extra projects but then say yes anyway, people will keep asking.
Boundaries require consistency. The first few times you enforce a boundary is going to feel uncomfortable and some people might push back. You will probably worry you’re being difficult, but if you stick with it then over time, your boundaries will be more normalised and respected.
And the best part is that by setting these boundaries, you’re modelling healthy behaviour that can support a shift in your entire team’s culture.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to be available 24/7 to be a valuable employee. You don’t have to say yes to everything to be a team player. And you certainly don’t have to sacrifice your mental health and personal life to prove your worth.
When you think of someone who is successful and respected in your company, if you were asked why you respect them, your answer probably won’t be because they are always available. It will more likely be because of the work and impact they have in the business.
So start small by picking one boundary from this list and implementing it this week. Maybe it’s blocking focus time in your calendar, or logging off at a set time, or saying no to one low-priority request.
Want more support as you navigate your career? Join the Peer Suite community for access to resources, workshops, and a network of professional women who are setting boundaries, advancing their careers, and building lives they actually enjoy. Learn more about membership here.
Looking for more ways to take control of your career? Check out how to finish the year strong with an autumn reset or discover the mindset books that will transform how you work.
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